What is - Letting go?

We've all heard the expression "letting go" and often this approach is presented as "THE" solution to our woes as a specific situation. But what exactly is the process of letting go?

This process of letting go can not be an action from outside, because it is an internal process. It's up to us to pre-disposed ourself to letting go and this position is not primarily mental and even less the result of a time of internal analysis.

In fact, letting go is not a drop to an event, circumstance or person, otherwise it would be an outside process. It is not a surrender to internal pain and fear. This suffering is a trigger of internal discomfort following an internal perception of a situation that, during or following a misalignment of ourself. You may feel that they are events or outsiders who create this kind of inner pain, but this is not the case.

It is too easy to play the victim in dismissing the case on the outside world. This reaction to the appearance of an inner pain will only worsen the situation at some point. Life always brings us back to situations which we have not settled and that, as long as we do not exercise to letting go process to the buried pain.

It is easy to say and to act mentally to a form of letting go while trying to forget the event or minimize the consequences not always external to us, but within ourself. The process of letting go is based on an internal process, so on our experienced and felling. This process is not natural, because we have been educated to let time do its work, putting away unwanted people without ever knowing what is undesirable in us.

We fight, therefore more with our internal resistance. Our resistance to abandon what has been taught as true, as your thoughts. Letting go works well on our resistance to abandon what we know is that the events and people outside us.

It's hard to apply this process on our resistance and our suffering. Those suffering are so great, sometimes, it will create an impact on our bodies or our mental health. Our refusal not to see the outside, but most to look at us. This behavior will maintain our  unpleasant and even unbearable feeling.

It's almost when we reached the end of our resources, both physical and mental demands that we begin to look at internal options. This can be achieved only when we are willing to accept this suffering as ours. At this moment we dare look at what this suffering will reveal. This acceptance can only come from ourselves and only then we can begin the process of letting go.

Letting go is exactly and above all a process beginning with the acceptance of a undesirable and uncomfortable situations. Acceptance, there will thereafter awareness of our resistance. What we resist so much and that makes us so badly.

In opening onto ourself by agreeing to observe and watch what we resist so that we can act on the evil and turn it into a well-being. This evil, this suffering is in our lives to talk to us, to recognize a misalignment of ourself, then everything follows from the action of granting a space and a time to look and listen without saying.

We can live a full and true self-realization without going through the process of letting go of old conditioned resistance that we have never been ours.

How do you letting go of situations that are poisoning your life?

How-tos for coping with the stress of obnoxious people deal with it

Not all stress is bad and there are ways to deal with thoses obnoxious clients and co-workers.

Stress is healthy response that requires an emotional, physical or mental response. It can be a motivator and doesn’t have to be just a “negative”. But there are unhealthy ways of reacting to stress which include ignoring it, blaming others or becoming aggressive, unhappy or angry.

Stress on the job can be created by situations ranging from organizational change and ever-changer goals, to job insecurity and the constant mantra of “doing more with less”. To counteract this, attempt to articulate or obtain clarity about roles, responsibilities, authority and deadlines.

Like our spouse, bosses and co-workers all have different personalities and take the influences of home to the job. So understand where they are coming from is important. A little empathy with co-worker who has been up all night with a sick child goes a long way to understanding their mood and ability to do the job that day. “They have life outside their jobs”.

Also, understanding the style of person’s management approach gives you insight into what is expected and which colleagues “play games” and how to avoid getting drawn in.

Here is a list of practical solutions to deal with stress:

• Establish goals that are specific, measurable and achievable;
• Write these down and identify short and long-term goals;
• Divide the individual goals into “chuncks” so that they can be worked on bits at a time;
• Set priorities;
• Practice the 4 Ds: dump, do, delegate and delay;
• Focus on time and nutrition so that you are at your physical and mental best to deal with stress;
• Use a buddy system to keep motivated;
• Employ strategic relaxation techniques like “me time” for reading, meditating, a walk, etc.

Use physical techniques like squeezing and releasing your hand when a customer, co-worker or boss is stressing you out, rather than retaliating. Another technique is to hold your breath and press both sides of your neck, which actually lowers your heart rate. Consciously change your negative thoughts into positive ones to build self esteem, focusing on achievements and increasing your productivity.

If someone is arguing, don’t match their volume level. Speaking calmly will alter their behavior as they tone down to match yours. Turn an argument into a conversation. Strive for realism not perfection.

Say “no” when you know you can’t add one more thing to your plate rather than offering “I’ll try” and not delivering. Acknowledge you will make mistakes. Judge your “own” behavior. Communicate clearly. Ask for help and take it.

Dealing with difficult behaviors requires understanding that “your office is a microcosm of the world” where there will be confrontation, arguments, needy-emotional people, bullying and those using passive/aggressive styles to get their own way.

So when you need to interact, be prepared to admit when you’re wrong; smile before starting the conversation; and check your stance and distance to the person so that your body language is not sending out wrong message.

Restate that the issue of discussion is to make sure both of you are on the same page and acknowledge the feelings and emotions of others. Beware of your reactions to others because you can control those 100% of the time.

How do you cope with those situations?

How to report a situation without negative criticism

As we live in a totally imperfect world, the opportunities are endless to criticize and from the point of view of almost everyone they often take appearance of negligence, omission or just bad faith.

So, how to report a situation without negatively criticize the situation, event or behavior?

In fact, it's not that complicated to do it, but it is more difficult to control the inner emotion that invaded us and brings us to profane negative criticism, spiteful and especially who do not bring solution or at least of ideas being considered to find a solution.

Controlling our emotion is the hardest thing to do in these situations. Since television is present in every home and that journalists give their personal views without ever offering a solution (or rarely), viewers do the same thing. The influence of repeated daily behaviors, inevitably affects and  influence most people, which in turn reproduce the same behavior.

This finding will seem simplistic, I admit, however, we must not forget that we are easily influenced, especially when we are exposed daily to these behaviors. Anyway, the most important thing is to learn how to report situations that upset you, but without falling into the systematic destruction.

We must learn to identify what may be the basis for proposing suggestions for improvement or change by providing clear and practical evolutionary aspect of these new solutions or changes. It is not necessary to tear down to rebuild, it is possible to change things positively if not denigrate what had been done before, thus avoiding conflicts and closed reactions from concerned ersons . Usually you have to put in the context timely to understand why certain decisions were taken, which explains choices that were made at the time.

Of course, this approach does not apply to all situations, but daily it applies to many situations, especially those to which you are exposed and directly affecting your lives. The situation with your family, your workplace, your leisure environment and the community in general. If you can develop this type of approach to improve the elements of your environment, there are good chances that the results are more effective than they were before with the recipe of destructive criticism.

Tell me what you think and how you do it to do.

Why help the poor ?

The difficulty with this type of support often comes from the fact we wonders if the money we send goes to its destination and it's used for good purposes. Also arises the question whether the poor are not abusers of society.


Are they really abusers? Sure, but let's be serious, the majority of  helpless people really need help and they do not wish to remain there all their lives often these people are facing a temporary situation or in many cases the disease is the cause that keeps them in this situation.

Not easy to break this kind of position when it's a result of mental illness or chronic illness that prevents them from finding employment or becoming an entrepreneur. The majority of these people are grappling with this problem, for others they generally are people convinced they can challenge the system! For what purpose, I cannot answer you, this way of thinking blow me out.

Now, when making donations, does that money really can be found in the hands of good people and is the money properly used. A very difficult question to answer. To get the correct answer must be that you must do a research yourself with the institution you want to give. I agree that this approach is demanding, but if you're really serious, it's worth it to do this exercise before sending the hard earned money.

What to do for our friends in the street, those who ask for money everywhere and in many cases not even thirty years? Decide for yourself, but when you watch these people, try to think of this: you really think these people are happy to be in a similar situation? What happened to their childhood dreams of becoming an astronaut, doctor or firefighter? Just ask the question makes us realize that these people have certainly experienced very negative things to go downhill in the street that way. Do not judge, you must try to understand and imagine a real solution to help them do it.

Environment - Our influence

It’s not easy to get involved in large scale when we didn’t have the knowledge and decision-making position to act on a large scale, but this doesn’t mean you can’t have impact on solutions.
Why get involved if our influence is so weak? Like everything, when there is doubt that it can be resolved, we must take the bull by the horns and act. Even if your actions are very small scales, they have an impact on your immediate environment and perhaps you will influence someone else to do the same thing as you.